Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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