Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I puked a lego.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
