it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
