My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I love you.
Bad choice
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