we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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