Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
do nipples grow back?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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