I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
