How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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