yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
