Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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