fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
