dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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