Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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