$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
this is an emotional support booty call
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
