It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
