Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
