I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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