There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
