you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think people are normalizing furries
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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