my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
