thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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