I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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