I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
