Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
