I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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