I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
