Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm really busy with my period
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