mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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