I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
