i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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