Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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