i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is my gift to your gina
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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