To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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