For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize