Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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