Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
