so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You took a bar mat shot.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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