My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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