he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
