she woke up with a sticky ear
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize