roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
