apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize