I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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