i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
birth control should be required to get into college
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
