I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude i'm inner monologue high
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
