I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
