I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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