he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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