You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
