So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
