Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
