I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
