It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
