Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
