i would punch a child for taco bell
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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