for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
