We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
