He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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